I have found religion

  Yes, at 60 I haven't only joined a church, I've created a religion...and I have appointed myself 'Rasta Pope', of the Church of the Rastafarian Agnostics.

My religion strongly opposes any country, church or religion which makes war,  kills people and justifies such atrocities against humanity by invoking the name of God, Mohammed, Allah The Golden Cow, or any other deity.

  People like Jerry Farwell, Ian Paisley, William Calley, Oliver North, Cat Stevens, Henry Kissinger, Pat Robertson, Fawn Hall, Oral Roberts, Jim and Tammy  Baker, Osama Bin Laden. Ariel Sharon, George Bush, John Cheney, Condolesa Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, and the rest of the Nazis in the White

House,...all of them should be  taken to  the Roman Coliseum, provided  with weapons of mass destruction, and be forced to fight to the death, mano a mano.  Rupert Murdoch, I am sure would be delighted to broadcast it live as pay-per-view on SKY TV.

As high priest , I have acquired  supernatural powers including the ability to aim lightening strikes at  golfers, and cast pestilence and locust swarms among Palestinian and Israeli's alike who continue killing each other. Add in Singaporeans who piss on toilet seats and drop their used gum on the sidewalk, and I am one vindictive SOB.  Any right-wing neo-conservative, born-again bible thumpers mess with me and  I will unleash the lions of Hell...

Included with your membership, your personal photo of the Rasta POPE suitable for framing  for your very own Rastafarian Agnostic worship centre..

NO chicken beheadings or lamb sacrifices please!  WE ARE A HIGH CLASS RELIGION.

Become a member - send money...get religion!

(THE HIGH PRIEST NEEDS A BRAIN OPERATION...no joke!)

tom sanders, RASTA POPE

CHURCH OF THE RASTAFARIAN AGNOSTICS

45 KINGS road, lancing, west Sussex, bn15 8eb Uk

*membership free if you are poor

**IF YOU ARE RICH, SEND ME EVERYTHING...ALL YOUR MONEY...THE GOLD FILLINGS IN YOUR TEETH...YES, EVERYTHING IF YOU ARE REALLY SEEKING REDEMPTION

MY INTERPLANETARY DISCIPLES

This is my friend Zeke from the planet Trafalgar.  That's his space ship, the gold pyramid shaped object in the foreground.  And Osama Octopus, his transvestite travelling buddy and sex partner.  They heard about The Church of the Rastafarian Agnostics, landed on my desk and became the first aliens to join up,  They have volunteered to spread the word and the sacrament throughout the cosmos.